Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
