I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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