We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
