I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
