Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
