Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
