I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize