Sry I called you an 8
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
