is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
