Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
