did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
