those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
