shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
