Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
