Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
