if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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