see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
should my penis look like a turkey
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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