rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
