Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
