You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
