You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize