I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
