Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
