and you said cock pushups were impossible
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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