I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
