I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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