I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
