last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm passing your future prison.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
