She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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