What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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