Quick, to the slutcave!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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