I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize