Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
