He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
