you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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