dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
