don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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