I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
