I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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