I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
