I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
