just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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