I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
