Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
bring money and cleavage
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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