Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
