Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
