grandma shit on top of the toilet
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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