ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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