Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
