I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
