dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
