So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it glows. i had to have it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
