Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
There's even glitter on my cock...
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