Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
