Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
